Oct 7, 2025 | 6:00am
Edition No. 6
Week 5 - Recap
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EAST meets WEST
The Clash Begins
EAST meets WEST
The Clash Begins
Week 5 marked the end of the internal division battles — the warm-up rounds, the tune-ups, the friendly fire. Now, as we charge into Week 6, a brand-new chapter begins in the Fantasy Squad League.
Why is this week so important? Because this is the moment the East and West finally collide.
The early part of the season was about sharpening swords — each team grinding within its own division, building chemistry, finding rhythm, and exposing weaknesses. But with Week 5 officially in the books, the walls come crashing down. From here on out, it’s East vs. West — every matchup a clash of styles, every win a statement, every loss a setback that could echo all the way to playoff week.
It’s no longer just about holding your spot in the standings — it’s about representing your entire side of the league. The East wants respect. The West wants revenge. And both are ready to throw everything they’ve got onto the field.
The rivalries are heating up, the storylines are brewing, and bragging rights are officially on the line.
So buckle up — the real season starts now.
COACHES' CORNER
Week 5 Recap
COACHES' CORNER
Week 5 Recap
Tr3 Tried — But Got Trampled
Tr3 Tried — But Got Trampled
Final Score: Ramzilla (144.96) 🏆 vs. Team Tr3 (81.60)
Another week, another city flattened. Ramzilla rampaged through Week 5, leaving Team Tr3 buried under a mountain of points.
Tr3 came in talking brave, but by halftime, the only thing left standing was Ramzilla’s shadow. The 144.96–81.6 blowout wasn’t a game — it was a demolition.
Reports say Team Tr3 tried to fight back, but it’s hard to compete when you’re running from a 20-ton blue-and-yellow monster.
With another dominant win, Ramzilla keeps proving why he’s the league’s most feared creature.
🎤Postgame Interview
“We heard Team Tr3 was calling us out, so we decided to answer. They came ready to fight a ram, but ended up getting trampled by a zilla. I’ll give them credit though… they lasted longer than I thought they would.” 😏
Edward | Head Coach
I guess it was a Lie
I guess it was a Lie
Final Score: Dangerous Ed (153.60) 🏆 vs. N8 🐶 (140.52)
Week 5 brought one of the wildest battles yet — and this time, Dangerous Ed walked out with the bite marks to prove it.
N8 came in quiet, as always — the calm before the storm. But when kickoff hit, the dog came to play. Points flew back and forth all weekend like a heavyweight fight, and by Sunday night, both teams were gasping for air.
But when the dust settled, it was Dangerous Ed who stood tall at 153.6 points — outlasting N8’s late surge and barking comeback attempt.
When asked about the close call, Coach Ed just smiled and said,
“It’s called Dangerous for a reason.” 😏
🎤Postgame Interview
“I thought you guys said, ‘the dog that doesn’t bark, bites.’ Guess that was a lie. 🤷♂️”
Eddie | Head Coach
Medical Clinic
Medical Clinic
Final Score: The end is near (135.44) 🏆 vs. Ranchwoods Gmoney (71.92)
Another rough week for Ranchwoods Gmoney — at this point, it’s hard to tell if he’s coaching a football team or running a medical clinic. The sideline looked more like an ER waiting room than a fantasy lineup, with crutches, ice packs, and questionable tags everywhere.
For The End Is Near, it was the kind of matchup you dream about. With half of Gmoney’s roster in recovery mode, they cruised to victory without breaking a sweat, dropping 135.44 points like a doctor writing prescriptions. 💊
Both teams came in desperate at 1-3, but only one walked out looking alive. The End Is Near climbs back into the playoff conversation, while Gmoney continues his downward spiral — and possibly bills insurance for fantasy-related injuries.
If this keeps up, Gmoney might want to rename his squad to “Ranchwoods Urgent Care.” 😅
🎤Postgame Interview
"Trey Benson - injured
Cedric Tillman - injured
George Kittle -injured
Ceedee lamb -injured
Jaylen Warren- injured
Calvin Austin- injured
Even my kicker is injured
I should’ve taken the week off instead of starting a group of nobody’s also I’m firing our strength and conditioning department, even the water boys."
Yovani | Head Coach
The “Scary” Team That Forgot to Scare
The “Scary” Team That Forgot to Scare
Final Score: Jcnano99 (133.88) 🏆 vs. Javier's Scary Team (85.06)
Javier entered Week 5 ready to haunt the league — but instead, he floated by like a friendly ghost. 👻
Joan’s JCNano99 lit up the scoreboard with 133.88 points, while Javier’s “Scary Team” looked more Casper than killer.
Now the league’s wondering if “The Friendly Ghost” just found his permanent nickname.
🎤Postgame Interview
"A much needed win by the boys this week. We got our backs to wall right now , but that’s when our championship pedigree has to shine. I expected nothing less from the guys. My respects to the other team, but we saw who wanted it more out there. On to Elias."
Joan | Head Coach
RallyRay Rolls Through the Competition
RallyRay Rolls Through the Competition
Final Score: Rallyray92 (150.78) 🏆 vs. Jose's Finest Team (114.22)
Ray came into Week 5 with his tools ready and a full tank of gas — and he left skid marks all over Jose’s lineup. 🛠️💨
While Jose’s Finiest Team struggled to keep the engine running, RallyRay’s squad looked like a perfectly tuned machine, firing on all cylinders from kickoff to final whistle.
Rumor has it Jose tried to call in a pit stop mid-game, but by the time the dust settled, Ray was already halfway to victory lane.
With 150.78 points on the board, RallyRay didn’t just win — he made it look like a Sunday drive.
"Because I Said So"
"Because I Said So"
Final Score: Who's yo Daddy? (111.64) 🏆 vs. ThePackAddict (100.3)
It turns out the name isn’t just for show — Who’s Your Daddy proved exactly who’s in charge this week. After four quarters of pure discipline, ThePackAddict walked off the field looking like he just got grounded. 🍼
The matchup started close, but Daddy’s squad slowly took control, laying down the rules, enforcing bedtime, and handing out a 111.64 to 93.70 reality check.
Meanwhile, ThePackAddict tried to fight back, but every comeback attempt ended with the same answer: “Because I said so.”
It was the kind of performance that leaves the rest of the league wondering…
Who’s your daddy? Well, this week, we all know the answer. 😏
🎤Postgame Interview
"Got the W on to the next!"
Elias | Head Coach
📊 WEEK 5 STATS OF THE WEEK
📊 WEEK 5 STATS OF THE WEEK
🏆 Highest Score of the Week:
🏆 Highest Score of the Week:
Dangerous Ed – 153.60 points
Ed’s squad exploded in Week 5, dropping the biggest total of the season so far and taking down N8 in a wild shootout. A reminder to the league — when Dangerous Ed’s players are hot, no one is safe.
😬 Lowest Score of the Week:
😬 Lowest Score of the Week:
Ranchwoods Gmoney – 71.92 points
Yovani’s team continues to limp through the season — and Week 5 was rough. Between injuries and fantasy heartbreak, Gmoney’s squad barely cracked 70. The injury bug hit hard, and the scoreboard showed it.
💥 Biggest Blowout of the Week:
💥 Biggest Blowout of the Week:
Ramzilla (144.96) def. Team Tr3 (81.60)
Margin: 63.36 points
Ramzilla didn’t just win — he flattened Tr3. It wasn’t a game; it was a stomp heard across both divisions. Another week, another victim in the path of the blue-and-yellow beast.
Week 6 Key Matchups
Week 6 Key Matchups
Ramzilla (5-0) vs. Dangerous Ed (4-1)
The headline matchup of the week. Two division powerhouses collide in what could easily be a playoff preview. Ramzilla remains undefeated, but Dangerous Ed isn’t intimidated — he’s hungry, and he’s ready to test the beast. Will Ramzilla keep stomping through the league, or will Ed finally slow the monster down?
The End Is Near (2-3) vs. Rallyray92 (3-2)
The End Is Near finally found signs of life last week, but Ray’s squad has momentum — and horsepower. Expect fireworks as both teams fight to stay relevant in the playoff chase.
Javier’s Scary Team (2-3) vs. ThePackAddict (1-4)
The “Scary Team” hasn’t been too scary lately, but this is his shot to prove the name still means something. Meanwhile, ThePackAddict desperately needs a win to keep his season alive. One more loss, and it’s back to the trade machine.
Team Tr3 (3-2) vs. N8 🐶 (3-2)
This one’s a sleeper classic — both teams are 3-2, both have been steady, and both are looking to prove they belong among the elite. Expect a chess match here — the quiet ones always bite hardest.
Ranchwoods Gmoney (1-4) vs. Jose’s Finest Team (1-4)
The battle of the 1-4s. Someone’s crawling out of the basement this week, and someone’s going deeper into the shadows. Gmoney’s squad is bruised and battered, while Jose’s camp is looking for redemption. It’s desperation football at its finest.
Team Jcnano99 (2-3) vs. Who’s Yo Daddy? (3-2)
After a rough start, Joan finally got a pulse last week — but now he faces a Daddy who’s handing out discipline and wins. Can Jcnano99 stay alive, or will Daddy send him back to his room early?
LEAGUE STANDINGS
LEAGUE STANDINGS
FANTASY FUNNIES
FANTASY FUNNIES
📢 Want to Be Featured in the Newsletter?
📢 Want to Be Featured in the Newsletter?
Got something to say or share with the league? Send in your thoughts on your next matchup, or give us your own post-game interview after a win (or a tough loss). We’ll feature submissions in next week’s Newsletter. Send a private message to the commissioner any time during the week. Deadline is Monday night. Let your voice be heard — and let’s keep the season fun!
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